fail better, heal faster

by fail better, heal faster

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makoa
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makoa I do not support them
I just really relate to “Reflex” Favorite track: Reflex.
benb77
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benb77 *WARNING*
I DO NOT SUPPORT LOU DIAMOND.
Fail Better, Heal faster as described by the title of the project is an album of healing and recovery. As the album is meant to be a form of "therapy". The Mathy riffs with Emo/Pop Punk mentalities serves up for a pretty good album on surface level, but delving into the lyrics reveal the mentality of a very flawed person.
Overall I recommend checking this album out, but do some research before hand to get more context for the album.-Ben77 Favorite track: Allostatic Load.
mackenzie
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mackenzie I've followed Lou, since their Little Tyrant days. While I find their crimes disgusting I can't help to love their work, especially the self reflection in s/t. Can't wait to see what they have lined up next. Favorite track: Vermont.
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1.
Reflex 03:19
i will never know how much I truly hurt you but I know how much I wish I could and could go back in time and erase my past mistakes and change your lives for the better, but I can’t when sorry starts sounding less like an apology and starts sounding more like a reflex goddamn these social constructs that keep us tethered to our genders placed at birth and the never-ending ever changing fear of ourselves at least we’re not in hell but we might as well be when sorry starts sounding less like an apology and starts sounding more like a reflex at least we’re not in hell
2.
My Omelas 03:09
haven’t had the time to get rid of all this slime that’s been dripping from my mouth, my ears, my eyes, my pores, and my nose when you get rid of your trash and toss it in your neighbor’s yard tell me who does that help in the end? another community scarred so i’ll blade by the graves and the game saves slip into the societal nether that’s been taken over by the new millennial wave a history of repetition, rejection, disassociation with mental illness and feeling gay it’s tough when you don’t know the rules so you can either take the bus or drive your shitty car to school you’re ten feet away, and I can’t even ask if you’re doing okay we’re not as dirty as we think but we’re not as clean as you
3.
DNA Scam 02:35
take my DNA take my DNA and wrap it up okay give it to my dad and make him a new kid again happy birthday raise me in a cage and keep me from your rage leave the walls untouched away from your fists and your lungs i forgive him cycles expand leaving the wounds you never had generational says that everyone in the world can pick at reinvent yourself before the person you were gets out of hand do i have worth if i am unable to be exploitated as a brand? if you’re having a bad relationship with yourself then you won’t have a good one with anyone else
4.
Human 03:48
i just try to breath and believe that i’m just being naive when i’m feeling down i try to blend in, give a shit, but i’m just hyperaware of the corporate society i dress to impress or perhaps it’s just to seem less seem less threatening and wheres the community mentality behind all the fear and the skinned up knees, if you know what i mean because we’re our own abusers but we are still humans first we’re our own abusers but we are still humans first i know the mistakes that i made and i’m doing my best to change and stay away from the me that i hate please don’t let me drown please don’t let me if we keep hurting each other we’ll never be safe safe the hate for the systems that keep us asleep and keep themselves in power we could get better by putting in effort to understand perspectives or we can keep rolling around in our pain but that won’t make us feel any better, because we’re still hating ourselves conditioned to rely on others to make us feel whole positioned to repeat the failures of our forefathers the weight on my chest is familiar at best and it’s just another test the universe is unforgiving and a dick so we’ll do our best to live
5.
Vermont 03:42
I wanna move to vermont, where i don’t know anyone stick my head in the sand and wait for the planet to explode or take me instead we’ll i gotta say i’d rather be dead excommunication with no relationship of command crawl in your hole and stay there don’t you know that growth is bad behavior? running back and forth without a savior 99% of life is uncomfortable but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel i wanna move to japan and maybe i’ll understand what to do with my life or maybe i’ll stay in the pa on the edge of a knife I wanna move to vermont
6.
when did apologist become synonymous with someone who supports rehabilitation? we’re just too afraid of losing our reputation we’re just afraid of our own social degradation and believe me it’s scary when did neutrality take the place of responsibility for fixing your broken stairs but instead you just get rid of them comparing our pain like pissing contests when in reality everyone’s experiences are unique and valid i don’t wanna hate and i don’t want revenge i just wanna help the people who haven’t started yet ‘cause if you do it yourself then you’ll do yourself in where’s the community mentality behind all the fear and the skinned up knees if you know what i mean ‘cause if there’s no constructive dialogue then i don’t really care about it we are the system and we are it’s victims we are the system and we are it’s victims we are the system and we are it’s victims fuck all the systems i don’t think we’ll miss them
7.
toxic masculinity’s been killing’ me for far too long not an excuse but it’s been used to hurt the people that i love with the things that i’ve done wrong if only my skin were thicker and if only my balls were bigger and if only i wasn’t such a goddamn pussy then maybe i’d be doin’ better probably not you can take what’s in my pants, i don’t want it you can take what’s in my head, i don’t want it is my body a temple? or is it a weapon? or is it a workshop? or is it a garden to grown in and fight through the weeds and the spider mites that keep me from flourishing? power, control, and manipulation are the basis of our gendered education there’s a difference between having power over someone and feeling empowered and the former scares the shit out of me emasculate me no matter the gender we have to remember, theres so much to unlearn no matter the gender you have to remember, theres so much to unlearn and it’s not pretty bang bang bang, does a boy become a man? or is he just another cog in the man-made machine?
8.
cyber corrupt, dead out of luck again cyber corrupt, waiting for zuck to pull the plug on us ‘cause if you don’t reply in 30 seconds or less then i’ll get worried that you’re dead or dying or just plain upset because the world relies on an emotionless form of communication just a nation of misunderstanding each other’s words behind a screen is the only scene we’ll be a part of false sense of security and a lack of open honesty the things that you wish you could say but you’re too afraid of the back lash and the like smashes on the feedback of the ones with social capital we’re the fascists we’re fighting cyber corrupt, hurry the fuck up and pull the plug
9.
Pwr Outage 03:07
you fed us to the lions and you fought back so many tears we were “heroes” and now we are “martyrs” on a path to either healing or death why do we choose to glorify the craftsman as if they’re better than you? why can’t we just appreciate what we enjoy without the clout and namedropping game? can you still have a fear of heights from the top of a pedestal? or are you scared of the hands that put you there? the disenfranchised kneel every time we go virtual when do we cross the line between advocacy and taking advantage of what we are good at? charming, witty, friendly, down to earth and when the crown hits the ground you’ll reach out and grab it and place it on the head of another i can’t hear you must be the anxiety blues
10.
Big Brother 04:14
my big brother has a heart of stone from being alone for long and though i cannot feel his pain i think of him every day take us back to our times of old when we were just laughing’ from cracking’ jokes and packing’ bowls all day my little brother has a heart of fear from struggling all through the years ‘cause dad is gone and mom is holding’ on but i know that he’s strong ‘cause he’s one of the ones who taught me how to love and has made me who i am so just shut up and come over and watch cartoons with ‘cause i don’t think that i can take much more of this lack of simplicity and whether we’ll meet again in this life or the next i’ll be waiting for you with a blunt and a blank check
11.
second thin layered blankets doin’ their best to pretend they’re your friends empty bottles, buses, and a lack of rationality waiting for your intake to end but it’s okay, little mango, you can sleep now you’ve been hogging life for nearly 25 years you died on a farm in the dead of march’s winter that’s when i woke up, picked up the baggage and left this is where i will begin oh cleo, please don’t go oh cleo, you’re the most radiant bean that i’ve had the privilege to know ‘cause i came in with hope and i left with a smoking habit yeah i came in with hope and I left with a smoking habit i came in with hope and left with a smoking habit i came in with hope and I left with a smoking habit i came in with hope (i came in with hope) i came in with hope (and i still have that hope) i came in with hope (and i still have that hope) yeah i still have that hope and i still have a smoking habit oh cleo, please don’t go i know that you’re laying’ in fields and your legs are working agin and i hope you’re finally happy
12.
waking up sweating and sobbing not knowing who i am for a second or two visited all through the night by the ghosts of my dead friends or at least dead to me vulnerability, death to humanity rollin’ around in the tears dripping’ down from the loved ones that i’ve hurt and accountability, what does that really mean when you have grown and you know all the things you did wrong we’ve gotta do better than putting’ in effort we’ve gotta unlearn all our faults because hate is exhausting when we could be fostering nurturing love for each other because we get hurt to help others and we hurt others to get help we fail better the more we heal and we heal faster the more we fail my skull and the side of the janitor’s door are becoming close friends lately because if i lose a tooth does it count as abuse if the punches came from me so i’ll do my best just to stay off of trestle it feels like there’s much more to be and if i’m an abuser, then i’m still a human first or at least that’s what my higher self makes me believe when sorry starts sounding less like an apology and starts sounding more like a reflex then we’ve got a lot of work left to do.

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released August 31, 2017

Lou Diamond- Vocals, guitar, bass, various aux
Sam Becht- drums/percussion, various aux

All songs written by Lou Diamond

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fail better, heal faster Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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